Memory Like Rocks.

I have an insufficient ability to remember anything of any value. I can barely remember what I just did last week. I am unsure what if it is due to that fact that I may not pay enough attention to the details of life or I actually have a ridiculously horrible memory. This aggravates me to no end. I cannot recall what I did this winter or spring break from this past school year. I cannot recall things I wish I could. It would be fantastic to remember what I enjoyed about a performance or concert that I was even in. The memory is a mere depiction of biased past experiences and thoughts.

Something Undescribable.

What a summer so far! I truly have no idea even where to start, due to the mass amount of amazing things I have experienced in the minuscule amount of time allotted by our school system. Being a drum major for the Winhawk Marching Band has been such an honor and a great lesson in leadership and responsibility for myself. There is truly nothing similar to the feeling you get when an ensemble of such caliber lays down there dedication and musicality in front of you through music. I find myself smiling uncontrollably and probably looking like an absolute fool but it is worth it. Wednesday marks my return to afternoon band rehearsals and I am excited to see how a summer as great as summer 2011, will contribute to our musicianship. 

For an entire month, beginning on June twenty sixth I then ventured out of Winona and spent my time developing my skills as a musician at the Lutheran Summer Music Academy and Festival. I will try my darndest not to be lazy and dedicate a whole post to all the photos I took and need to upload and all the memories made an impact on my life and heart. For thirty days I was: in worship, eating great food, flourishing, singing solo literature, fumbling through Bach, making like long conections, playing my euphonium, having photoshoots, reading new books, doin' some gospel improv, making friends and prospering as an individual musican. Every day my life was eat, breathe and sleep music and it's many ways of creating change.

After being home for a mere week I packed up the car again and began the long, tedious jaunt to Moorhead, to attend the week long summer week long intensive for my placement in the 2011-2012 Minnesota All State Symphonic Band. And again... another fantastic week. I currently in the middle of editing some photos from the week so a post shall be on its way shortly.



As this is the time where there is absolute wretched happenings, malicious intentions and depressing truths I say we create change. This summer has taught me that we need to start experiencing life on a more consistent basis. We need to make sacrifices, life without boundaries and reservations and put our trust in something much greater then any one individual. Nothing is certain, so why live by unstable ideas? Let us live in the mere belief that what we do can and will make an impact in some way and that tomorrow could be the start of something beautiful and new. Let us experience something indescribable.

"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimension." - Oliver Holmes

I Will Be Aged.

It may be because of where I am at in the duration of my life, but I completely look forward to getting older. Now if you have read my previous post you know I am scared of taxes and such responsibilities but I am talking more about gaining wisdom and knowledge through simply living that is acquired though aging. I hope that in the future my outlook on this event of getting older does not change because it would almost be a shame for me to one day be pessimistic about living and experiencing one more day full of life. Hopefully, ahead of me is not only my seventeenth birthday in July but a lot more to come after that because I have a strong belief that I will not be ignorant when it comes to experiencing and learning from the world around me, even when the world becomes ignorant of me.


My grandmother and grandfather have both been great examples on how you look forward even moderate old age. My grandmother is the type of women who simply cares too much about everything. She simply cannot let someone down when she knows that she is able to take upon herself regardless off her personal wants and needs. Need a volunteer to bring a casserole for the reunion dinner, don’t worry Diana’s got it. “Oh, you need a ride to Mayo Clinic tomorrow Clarice? I wasn’t doing anything anyways, I can drive you.” “My dear friends here at this meeting, I would just like to personally tell you that my husband Earl and I will be moving to Northfield, MN. Yes indeed, that means that I will no longer be able to head the committee that handles public relations, outreach and press control for the middle aged women kazoo ensemble, it saddens me deeply.” If you have not guessed it my grandmother would take on the job of being the head of the committee that deals with the kazoo ensemble’s publicity as well as probably playing in it if she wasn’t already. Now along with being the volunteer go to woman she likes making lists and plans. If she could she would make lists and plans for the whole town of Winona. But by always listing things and making to-does it takes out the fun and excitement of the uncertain future. My grandmother has such a big heart and is helping so many people. She making sure that ends meet where in some cases they may not but by helping to such an extent that the essence of truly living is lost. She reminisces sometimes on past trips to Puerto Rico and Los Angeles and wishes that she had the time and money to travel again like they once did. But we often as humans get so caught up in the opportunities to join social groups that meet weekly and volunteer at our church that we get too tied down to simply get up, leave and experience what is offered in the simplicity of life.

My grandfather is practically the exact opposite of my grandmother, instead of embracing the freedom of retirement head on by now being able to plan, help and navigate my grandfather would much rather let life be experienced everywhere around him and later get news of the great things that are happening. He told me earlier this evening that he does want to go to the local senior center and hear about someone else’s gripes and pains or hear a historical presentation of the local library. He also does not want to join an elderly gentleman’s group that meets Tuesday nights at church. In fundamental nature he basically told me that in his view going to some building with a bunch of other senior citizens being senior citizens does not fit into his ideal day. In a way my grandfather does not want to admit or proclaim “Yes, everyone I Mike from MN am a senior citizen and like doing senior citizen activities.” The ideal day for my grandfather would be to wake up quite early, read three different newspapers, cut the grass, make a sandwich and eat it while standing up, go to the bar have a few drinks, watch some sports and then hit the hay early. Regardless if you have a sudden urge for Italian and breadsticks and a gift certificate to Olive Garden in Lacrosse, unless it was planned in advance it does not seems so logical to him. Things need to be sequential, and thought out. Now it if funny that both my grandparents share this quality but in such different ways. It is possible that if my grandmother exceeds her usual average number of lists for him in a day he may riot in a very gentlemen type of way. When every day becomes looking like every other day you know that normalcy and a routine way of life are forcing you to miss out on the excitement from being simply sporadic in though, action and deed.

When I grow older I hope to begin using the freedom of time to my advantage. I hope I will try new things with no reservations in mind. I want to travel to places I have never got the chance to go regardless of costs even if it takes backpacking, hitchhiking rides or hopping buses. I wish that I will one day stumble upon the right balance between commitment, obligations and downtime. Even when my generation will no longer be the frontrunner in society I hope to stay current and knowledgeable in the world I live in. When the time comes that it seems much easier to forgo my morals and values, I trust that I will remember that those beliefs make up who I am today and the minute I begin to conform is the minute that I become not an individual but a human.

Song of the day - First Day of My Life by the Bright Eyes

"A man is not old, until regrets take the place of dreams." - John Barrymore

VHS & CDs.

Now everywhere I look, all I can see is potential for the future. When I choose to bear the task of being observant I always come to find things that were once hidden and elusive to me and they are so interesting. So interesting, that it makes me truly wonder what else could life show me that I already do not know. Now, this feeling or sense of security being that it is hard to imagine anything else past what I have already come to know is part of the great wonder of the future.

We all can imagine, remember, or picture what it would be like to view television in black and white but can we really think of anything monumental to change about the color TV itself. In my mind, maybe because I am not a technical inventor but the color TV has reached its peak in my mind and it is only through looking at the past that we can see, there is something much greater then a TV or a cell phone it just has not been thought of yet. “Yes Bryan, I know that you have a plasma television the size of an elephant that shoots rays of highly realistic 3D objects out of its speakers the size of your two Escalades equipped with projecting apparatuses. Do you have any other knowledge worth sharing?” There are some people in whom I often wonder, do you know that there was something previous to your existence and it was a part of establishing how you currently live your life today?

To think that nothing has reached its fullest potential in its own existence is such an exciting idea. Looking around I can now look at almost every object with a certain of sense of promise and anticipation for the future because everything has potential to be something much greater then it is at this point in the world. It makes me pleasantly anxious to understand that one day I will be able to say that yes, I watched VHS tapes and listened to CDs and in my eyes back then, I truly could not imagine anything better than those objects themselves.

Song of the day – In My Life by the Dave Matthews Band

“The greatest quest in life is to reach one's potential.” – Mychal Wynn

The Earth Is Round?

Now let me first start off by saying I repent for my lazy actions or lack there of. Now I bet you have heard this once before but blogging sadly fell to the wayside while reality slapped my face and bit my tongue. I had been neglecting to be the student I need to be and the end of the term was truly a struggle for me. When you slide by without fully applying yourself, it really comes to show when you need to use the previous knowledge I was supposed to acquire but failed to. But needless to say, I made it through finals week of term two and am excited for what is ahead. With currently being on Spring Break I have had a lot of time to simply do the things which I have not had time to do. I have: Turned in five job applications, while picking up a few on the way. Went to the library twice already. Edited a lot of photos from old folders on my computer to photos right off of my camera. I have gotten five chapters farther in a book that I have neglected for much too long. Went to the cities. Uploaded some YouTube videos. Went to the doctor. Started new acne medication. Dropped off a friend at the airport. Purchased a good amount of cds from Cheapo Discs. Partied a little. Slept bunches worth and did a single load of laundry. I must admit that is much more then a usually do in a few days time and it feels nice. Now, that I have recuperated from my draining life in reality I hope to blog more often like I was doing previous my unexpected hiatus. Because out of all the people benefiting most from this blog, it is me. I have found that by sharing ones thoughts you create space in the mind and soul for new ideas and are then able to express and share your view of the world that is often viewed as “just” round.

Song of the day - Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis

"Original thoughts can be understood only in virtue of the unoriginal elements which they contain." - Vittorio Alfieri

I Fear Greatness.

There is so many amazing revolutionary things happening around us every minute and we are just too afraid of their possibilities. The minute that lady speaks up in the meeting where you did not want to volunteer to help with the upcoming event, we as humans suddenly often times get possessive and defensive over this woman’s want to fill the position. Now it is these “positions” where we are afraid of change and its potential. We did not want to sign up for the morning shift at the bake sale, or to call everyone on the phone tree because our Tuesday blood drive will be postponed, but when someone we find unqualified steps to the plate to take the position we become outraged. “Trina cannot even multiply, but we are letting her play the kazoo in the winter concert?” wonders Marlene. Randall exclaims to his twin Sherry, “Really, with that hair cut Mathew will be representing us at the chili cook-off award ceremony? He looks like a mix between Cindy Lauper and Gene Simmons!” Why are we so afraid of people pursuing greatness when we are too terrified of it ourselves?

I believe that the fear of greatness is instilled in us when growing up like many other traits we now possess as young and elderly adults. It closely relates to the fear of being different from anyone else. Currently, I truly have no want to be like anyone else around me and the idea of conforming to a mass group of individuals is terrifying to me but I often find my peers and myself just settling. I will settle no longer. To be great is to be something much different from what feels comfortable or ordinary. And being dissimilar in a society and culture where everyone just wants to fit in can be intimidating. We are afraid of truly letting go of our inhibitions in life and just living to our fullest intentions due to what others would think. I can no longer be afraid of my future self. This “self” is much more driven by the iron strings close to my heart, not afraid to do and only would like to feel and it has no reliance on social boundaries put up, that we now call insecurities. This “self” is willing to act, look, feel dumb for the instant rewards granted to those pursuing themselves at a completely new level.

I often find myself indulging in the fear of being great when I sing. I will sit in choir and look around; tenors, altos, sopranos and then at the other baritones and I can feel that we all are just holding back, all waiting for the moment we are able to open our mouths and notes will not come out; emotion, expression and everything great will come bounding out of our hearts and enrapture us. But as a choir, we all are afraid of feeling dumb individually but most of the time if you are you feel awkward you just need to let go of your inhibitions and submerse yourself. You know that high F# octave is approaching and instead of going for it you fake it because you think you are going to crack or go sharp or something. Those thoughts are irrelevant because it is only through experience that we can finally understand something foreign to us.

Now in regard to my singing I am not the only one holding back. You can tell by just looking at someone, if they are truly untied by their personal reservations. And looking around in choir I can tell we all are afraid, but of what? Of looking like a fool? Of being different? Or of actually going for it and achieving something? It this idea that we have the capability of being great in so many ways, that inspires me for tomorrow. Because, it is things like this that spread. Love spreads. Happiness spreads. The feeling of facing your fear of being great has the ability to spread and change the world we currently live in, but must start within us individually.

Song of the day - Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skillex

“Always do what you are afraid to do.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Excuse Me, The Dancers Have Arrived..

Song of the day - Not An Angel by City Sleeps

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation" - La Vie Boheme, RENT

Growing Up.

I find we have huge, major, and multiple responsibilities that we do not exactly sign up for, that are more shoved in our face as a human in our current society. Now this is even more true for what we term as adults or grownups in our society today. As a sixteen year old, and a current highschooler who everything is practically handed to, these real life responsibilities are quite daunting and intimidating. Luckily, these responsibilities are slightly gradual and are in a way passed on and you acquire these “chores” through people who are the current elders and make it all seem effortless. But, what happens if you cannot handle these as an adult or fully do not grasp these ideas that are just expected almost suddenly. These are the basic concepts and ideas that we discussed today in my Challenge American Greats Class and really was intrigued by the social responsibilities that are just expected from us as being apart of our society.

Now one thing that I associate with the term adult, is taxes among other tasks but before that, I need to get at least a broad definition of what it means to be adult. Now, according the dictionary.com, adult means to be “a person who is fully grown or developed or of age.” I completely disagree, just going off that idea how are you supposed to know when you are fully grown or developed and if you do not know, who else will? It is hard and almost something that I look down upon when people start putting limits on their growing and development as an individual. Yes, I bet then when they were writing this definition dictionary.com was referring to reaching a certain maturity but in my mind that is still too vague when the definition of the word adult, comes with so many obligations. Do we put an age on it? When you turn eighteen you are a legal adult, but are you then suddenly considered a moral, just part of society that people would term as a grownup? Being an adult is a complex state of being that we need to rethink and reframe how we disperse social tasks because I believe that we are throwing the term around loosely. And we as society cannot let things such as the status of who will be our future front bearers of our society be wrongly classified into a large group of now adults, half of them being responsible, contributing member of the current, while the other half are leaches, sponges and worms in the big aspect reality.

A new look on the status of being an adult includes many things because it is something intricate and must be a pillar in our towering monument of a humankind. An adult is someone who takes responsibility for their actions. An adult is someone capable of great things and will or is already contributing things to the world that were lacking. An adult understand that we need together because if we are working against ourselves we will get nowhere. An adult understand that laws must be in place. An adult must understand that we trust them enough to let them lead us because if we set them up for failure they will get fail.

To think that some people from birth are paying taxes really does frighten me. It interesting to think and consider into what we learn as culture, that I really have no idea when people start doing taxes. At the beginning of today I thought it was something that you do maybe when you get out of college or something you do after turning eighteen. Yes, there is obviously people in the world where that is their situation but paying taxes starts when you start earning a substantial amount of money in the course of a year i have learned through google. Parents can add their child’s income into theirs but still the fact that some other sixteen year olds in Winona are already doing thier own taxes is astounding to me. Taxes seems so grownup in my eyes and that is where our misinterpreted view of being an adult ties in. Along with taxes, you suddenly are expected to know if you did not already, about political campaigns and make an educated decision in voting situations. You will truly have freedom from most reign from your parents but is that not scary to think that all the problems we deemed as things our parents needed to take care of, are now our responsibilities as the person in charge. Luckily you just catch on. It is apart of life, taking action and ownership of things that we once tried to avoid due to feeling inadequate and too childish to deal with matters that were meant for the adults in our lives.

Song of the day - Can't Go Back Now by The Weepies

“We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.” - May Lamberton

Decisional Happiness.

One of my favorite and most intriguing things in my opinion about life is that the minute you think life could not get any worse, it gets a lot better. Today was such a revolutionary moment in between a slew of days lacking purpose, and the essence that really provides drive to life.


Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. And all day regardless of how I looked at it, I easily fell into the slum of every other single person alive yesterday. I believed that my euphonium playing was lacking musicality and that does not surprise me at all, now looking in retrospect because playing the euphonium demands focus, creativity, an open mind and most of all heart. In Grammar and Composition after taking a test which I may or may not have bombed, we received our rough drafts for an expository essay due at the end of this school week. Now, after talking with people I have come to find that I was not the only person with a lot of criticism in the margins but at that moment I felt like my teacher was personally attacking my writing. There is truly only very few things that are worse than someone stating that your one and only voice is something that is unclear, rambling and lacking purpose. And my day just got worse from that point.

As much as I tried I kept focusing on the negative things that occur occured during my day, when I usually am able to disregard such trivial aspects and focus on what truly matters. It came to the point where I had to resort to talking in ridiculous accents to somewhat forget what was going on and look at Alex Cyert’s life as a stranger with a much different outlook and past because I did not want to take ownership of my life. The one thing we have as human beings on this vast planet is our own life and I just as easily gave it away because I felt incompetent and unable to truly deal with reality. In turn I wasted a day of my life due to a skewed outlook on a single day. I never want to have my out outlook make such a considerable negative impact again and let one day pass where I feel that I have not striven to pursue bettering myself as a person and artist. We are capable as human beings of decisional happiness when being happy seem unattainable to us.

Today really was a great turn around and much needed for me to not be discouraged by life, but be a student to life and learn a concept that may have been distant to me before this. Today I thoroughly enjoyed my usual breakfast of a coffee and breakfast sandwich from Kwik Trip regardless of the fact that it is a burning a deep, deep hole in my pocket of depleting monetary funds. During a lesson with my band instructor he was not quick to criticize and point out the obvious. He first asked me what I thought and felt about the performance of my major, harmonic and melodic minor scales and solo literature I will perform at the end of this month to be a contestant as a featured soloist in the grand concert of an honor band I am attending. By asking me what my thoughts were it became more of an I already knew the answers and just need to begin applying them learning moments. He gave me a good share of criticism after that but also pointed out things that I definitely was glad to hear. Through much practice I am improving and that is what is constantly important. My day got progressively better from there receiving insight on my final draft of my grammar and composition paper from a past teacher. To being in the zone singing in choir during fifth hour and having great tone. To viewing Glee tonight and being inspired to have a comeback into a life full of purpose, drive, god and constant questioning because there truly is no point in living unless we are constantly thinking.

Song of the day - Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” - Albert Einstein

Split Ends.

This last week I literally did complete disarray to my hair and do not regret it in the slightest. Cutting my own hair has become a very relaxing, stress relieving, and emotional cleansing experience for about a year now. So as much as you try there is really only so much you can do to change your appearance. You can lose or gain weight but it is still your skin and your body type. You can buy new clothes, but at the end of the day you still are yourself and resemble that. There is something so miraculous in the ways we are able to change and adapt our own hair. It is able to change color, change shape, direction, style, feel to the touch, among other things. Over just the last few years my hair has changed so much in all of these aspects. I believe that anyone really considering what their hair looked like just three years ago would agree with me that change has occurred.


Hair is one of the most interesting parts of our body in my opinion due to it’s unique nature in being. It is alive basically until it has breached life outside of your scalp and is then dead, but it is at the same time nurtured by the tiny root connecting it to your head. So each of your hair follicles are in a weird in-between stage where they are dead but very much still alive. As a culture, hair plays a big role in physical identity and we often use hair to be a resemblance of how we feel and want to be portrayed by others.

Thursday I basically shaved off the hair on my sides and back and left a flat Mohawk on top and then shaved lines onto the right side of my scalp to resemble a simple pattern. When arriving at school on Friday I had a mixed range of opinions and I truly was expecting that. People often said “Wow, you gotta hair cut. You know you have lines in one side of your head? Was that a mistake, or what?” It is extremely enjoyable to baffle people through a insignificant change in your life such as a fake moustache or new hair cut.

I cut my hair for emotional freedom from the ties that I often become bound to. I cut my hair because I need change. I cut my hair because I have split ends. I cut my hair because it is my vision. I cut my hair because after so long I loose sight of my goals, virtues and wants. I cut my hair because I love creating and being an artist and I truly am just… creating.

Song of the day - Ok, It's Alright With Me by Eric Hutchinson

"The best ideas are common property." - Seneca

Photos From A Messy Computer.

Song of the day - Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

"If you want to truly understand something, try to change it." - Kurt Lewin

The Simplicity Experiment.

Currently in school I am taking a class entitled Challenge American Greats. In class we basically read literature, discuss literature all while trying to better understand why this literature has a unique temperament of being great and what makes it American. Earlier this week we discussed Ralph Waldo Emerson who I found to be particularly intriguing. Emerson in short basically came up with the idea of transcendentalism but only really theorized about this ideal state of being in which you are a “transparent eyeball” seeing all, not really making or creating change, all while taking it all in. Emerson’s close friend Thoreau took this idea one step further and tested it by secluding himself from everything and simplifying his life in all aspects and life by the bare minimums in the middle of wilderness. It is here that Thoreau stated that he could absorb more of God and nature, and learn more about his own constitution as well. Thoreau said, "I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor" . In my Challenge American Greats Class we are not only trying to get a better understanding of Emerson, Thoreau and transcendentalism by looking at their literature, we are going to take a single twelve hour chunk out of our life and simply simplify. Here is my pre-anticipatory essay on my experience with the Simplicity Experiment.


As a teenager in current day 2011 society, my life as a whole is definitely nowhere near what Thoreau would classify as simplistic. Just as a student at the Winona Senior High technology, a busy schedule, planned out days far in advance and no real dependence on personal or moral instinct really play a big part of my life until I breach the home of my bedroom, late after the day is over. Over the course of my life, my parents have been consistently reminding me that being involved in too many things can have a negative impact on the other important parts of my life such as schoolwork and family relations. It is evident to me that I do let some things fall to the wayside due to the fact that I enjoy being involved in a multitude of activities. It is one of the luxuries available to the people of today’s society and it is something that I often have a hard time passing down. Living in a community where there is some type of fine art related performance, café, or event offered practically every weekend for cultural growth and a good night full of memories is hard to beat in my opinion. I believe that people often take for granted how much control we have over our day and our actions included. There are many places in the world where you are forced into this and that and are expected to not only conform but abide by someone else’s view of how you should live your life. Here we are the privileged and are able to make so many choices down to what we have for lunch every day, to what we wear on our body for clothing, to how we interact socially with other individuals and so many other things. There are many moments that I sit and wish for many more moments in a day, many more seconds to finish that test in third hour, or just time. It is those exact moments when I should instead of yearning for more time, be doing the things I feel like I have no time to undertake in my life.

Life in 2011 is technology and when you believe that you have some how distanced yourself from its grasps on you as an individual; you are then drawn back by documenting your thoughts or sharing it through some media outlet. Every evening before I fall into my deep slumber I set my final alarm on my phone to go off at 6:55 AM and two alarms on my iHome to somewhat get me half awake at 6:00 AM and 6:40 AM. After being somewhat aroused by their consistent toll I wake up take a shower and then turn on some music varying from Nat King Cole to current Shostakovich, and then do my hair with my electric flat iron. It is then when embarking off to school when I purchase a coffee, produced by a machine which often sputters at my angrily or is broken and a sausage/egg/cheese english muffin breakfast sandwich every morning at Kwik Trip. Through the duration of my school day technology becomes less apparent in my actions but is still evident through graphing calculators, my cell phone between classes, overheads, power points and the blaring intercom widely used all day long regardless of the importance of your current actions. My dependence on technology resumes the moment the bell right at 3:30 PM every afternoon. Suddenly the location and current status of my cell phone and what my schedules states for after school become incessant to my needs. Through the rest of my day I will use a car for my source of transportation an average total of six times, check not only my phone but Facebook too many times to count and listen to about four CD’s worth of music. It is only then when I finally will start the pattern all over again by putting on a CD to fall asleep to and set my three alarms for the upcoming day.

Stepping in anyone else’s shoes but your own is always a challenge because we as human beings get so used to normalcy and falling into a routine way of living. For twelve hours, I will be a modern day Thoreau. It will be a trial on my dedication and a testament to how life could be. Personally, I am excited to be able to somewhat be able to step out of myself and do something that is out of the ordinary. Change excites me and can be extremely beneficial, influential in certain situations but an overall experience that we all can learn from as the human beings of today.

Song of the day - Snakes and Lions by melpo mene

"He knows not what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Simplicity Experiment.

Currently in school I am taking a class entitled Challenge American Greats. In class we basically read literature, discuss literature all while trying to better understand why this literature has a unique temperament of being great and what makes it American. Earlier this week we discussed Ralph Waldo Emerson who I found to be particularly intriguing. Emerson in short basically came up with the idea of transcendentalism but only really theorized about this ideal state of being in which you are a “transparent eyeball” seeing all, not really making or creating change, all while taking it all in. Emerson’s close friend Thoreau took this idea one step further and tested it by secluding himself from everything and simplifying his life in all aspects and life by the bare minimums in the middle of wilderness. It is here that Thoreau stated that he could absorb more of God and nature, and learn more about his own constitution as well. Thoreau said, "I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor" . In my Challenge American Greats Class we are not only trying to get a better understanding of Emerson, Thoreau and transcendentalism by looking at their literature, we are going to take a single twelve hour chunk out of our life and simply simplify. Here is my pre anticipatory essay on my experience with the Simplicity Experiment.

As a teenager in current day 2011 society, my life as a whole is definitely nowhere near what Thoreau would classify as simplistic. Just as a student at the Winona Senior High technology, a busy schedule, planned out days far in advance and no real dependence on personal or moral instinct really play a big part of my life until I breach the home of my bedroom, late after the day is over. Over the course of my life, my parents have been consistently reminding me that being involved in too many things can have a negative impact on the other important parts of my life such as schoolwork and family relations. It is evident to me that I do let some things fall to the wayside due to the fact that I enjoy being involved in a multitude of activities. It is one of the luxuries available to the people of today’s society and it is something that I often have a hard time passing down. Living in a community where there is some type of fine art related performance, café, or event offered practically every weekend for cultural growth and a good night full of memories is hard to beat in my opinion. I believe that people often take for granted how much control we have over our day and our actions included. There are many places in the world where you are forced into this and that and are expected to not only conform but abide by someone else’s view of how you should live your life. Here we are the privileged and are able to make so many choices down to what we have for lunch every day, to what we wear on our body for clothing, to how we interact socially with other individuals and so many other things. There are many moments that I sit and wish for many more moments in a day, many more seconds to finish that test in third hour, or just time. It is those exact moments when I should instead of yearning for more time, be doing the things I feel like I have no time to undertake in my life.

Life in 2011 is technology and when you believe that you have some how distanced yourself from its grasps on you as an individual; you are then drawn back by documenting your thoughts or sharing it through some media outlet. Every evening before I fall into my deep slumber I set my final alarm on my phone to go off at 6:55 AM and two alarms on my iHome to somewhat get me half awake at 6:00 AM and 6:40 AM. After being somewhat aroused by their consistent toll I wake up take a shower and then turn on some music varying from Nat King Cole to current Shostakovich, and then do my hair with my electric flat iron. It is then when embarking off to school when I purchase a coffee, produced by a machine which often sputters at my angrily or is broken and a sausage/egg/cheese english muffin breakfast sandwich every morning at Kwik Trip. Through the duration of my school day technology becomes less apparent in my actions but is still evident through graphing calculators, my cell phone between classes, overheads, power points and the blaring intercom widely used all day long regardless of the importance of your current actions. My dependence on technology resumes the moment the bell right at 3:30 PM every afternoon. Suddenly the location and current status of my cell phone and what my schedules states for after school become incessant to my needs. Through the rest of my day I will use a car for my source of transportation an average total of six times, check not only my phone but Facebook too many times to count and listen to about four CD’s worth of music. It is only then when I finally will start the pattern all over again by putting on a CD to fall asleep to and set my three alarms for the upcoming day.

Stepping in anyone else’s shoes but your own is always a challenge because we as human beings get so used to normalcy and falling into a routine way of living. For twelve hours, I will be a modern day Thoreau. It will be a trial on my dedication and a testament to how life could be. Personally, I am excited to be able to somewhat be able to step out of myself and do something that is out of the ordinary. Change excites me and can be extremely beneficial, influential in certain situations but an overall experience that we all can learn from as the human beings of today.

All Of Me by Frank Sinatra

INSET 09.26.2020

Gawain the Goose.

Gawain is the treasury guard goose. He has lots of friends, including the king. The king trusts him very much due to the fact that Gawain is very honest and loyal. He was betrayed by Derek the mouse. Than he went to court and was found guilty. He flew through the window and into the forest and he hid there for a long time. Derek found Gawain and brought him back to the town. It ended up that Gawain did not steal the jewels from the king, Derek did.

Indefinite Music.

Did I tell you, I am kind of learning how to play the trombone? Well currently I am just transposing the part so it is in the concert key I am used to, then playing in on a valved trombone which is much more similar to my euphonium then an actual trombone with a slide. It is an interesting experience, to say the least. At first when originally auditioning for jazz band on piano and then being asked to maybe to settle for third trombone, I was not only upset that I got beat out for piano yet again but also confused of where my integrity lies. I knew that the jazz band needed a trombone player, but was I willing to give in and accept defeat, when I could spend my time otherwise doing something that would help benefit me in other ways. I decided that first of all this would be a good opportunity to getting better in reading in different concert keys, second I eventually will hopefully be able to say that I am capable of playing jazz trombone and lastly I do enjoy jazz band regardless of instrument choice.

Tonight was my first jazz band concert at the HS level and the only one since the spring of my eighth grade year that I played in. It brought back memories of jazz band during middle school and overall a great night of music making. Sometimes I forget that there are some people I got to school with that are actually really cool, talented and mainly wanting to create just like me.

I think I like jazz, because it not definite. One big problem I had with all my experiences with classical music is that there is many more wrong ways to play something, then ways that you played it right. I was always getting uptight about notes when working on a Chopin Prelude or memorizing my melodic and harmonic scales; music speaks best to me when there are no wrong notes due to the fact that it is open for interpretation.

We must be open to change, it has the capabilities of inspiring great things. Change is indefinite music.

Almost, Foeign To Me.

I used to love arts and crafts. Whenever I went on a trip in my early childhood I would bring along a stack of multi-colored construction paper and “snip snip”. This simple pastime included taking a pair of child safe scissors and just simply cutting construction paper into multi colored little fragments. This then culminated with me satisfied in the intent of being an artist, my hand hurting from the constant snipping of the scissors and mess of little pieces of multi-colored paper. It was my little magic dust, able to change something ordinary to something great.

I used to love movies. My utter fascination in movies also mainly took place during my early child which I believe is a psychological stage for most children. There is something with the effect of creating an idea that first, moments can be documented and later viewed at your leisure. Second it instills the concept of a world outside of where you currently are, I often find that children understandably are lacking the idea that there is something much greater then them, all around them. Third and finally, I believe that movies have the capabilities of creating hope and inspiration in children through the magic of a enrapturing story. My mom’s friend Carol recently told me that I was completely an utterly mesmerized by Judy Garland’s great call to fame in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer’s “The Wizard of Oz”. I liked it so much that I went through two VHS at that age. It makes me proud to say that through growing up in the mid 1990’s, I was not completely cheated out of enjoying media in a way that made it more heartfelt and an art, then just another social media outlet. I believe that the qualities many movies possessed pre-twenty first generation are still a lasting impact on my early childhood and now overall being.

I used to love soccer. My time spent living up in the cities was a great time for personal exploration due to my unbinding location with no family really near by and adventurous being due to age. I believe that really regardless of what type of person a kid will end up becoming and doing in the world later in life, if you ask them what is there favorite part of school; they will respond recess, besides lunch. This I believe, is in fact due to every kids innate curiosity in the world and want to answer all the questions that comes to there minds. Recess is basic set time for them to be able to be whoever they want; pirate, fish, firefighter, regardless it does not matter because it is about them being able to have fun, interact with other kids, and figure out their own base of morals and code of interaction. Playing soccer seriously and being the main attribute of my life currently is something very far from who I am and that it is because somewhere along the way I forgot and lost my want to adventure the playground, dominate the field, score all those goals and become who I currently am.

I used to love reading. During my elementary level of schooling I whizzed right through math, art, music, gym, but when it came to reading it had seemed that I had hit a roadblock that was somewhat unreachable for a second grader in Eagan, MN. As much as I tried a sentence saying “Peter walked his orange cat”, was literally something foreign to me. As much as tried my mind was unable to wrap itself around that simple sentence and our language as a whole. This was frustrating to a kid in a class of people he once viewed as equals, but now felt inferior. I then began attending a special session to help me better grasp reading, every week. There we would play games, that would have us utilize our cognitive knowledge and apply them to actions, then to words and then branch off to more complex terms or ideas from there. Needless to say after much work, I finally was able to read. Let me tell you, I loved it. I believe that the minute a child is able to read, they suddenly are tapping into there innate want to learn and really become students in there education system. After that point reading was always a big part of my life for really as long as I can remember. From my mom reading books to fall asleep, to me really thinking that Junie B. Jones may some day transfer to my school or something, and becoming obsessed with Harry Potter and the baggage that comes with liking the series. It is only till a few years ago that reading really fell from my to do list. Reading and books in general ignite the brains depictive state and create imagery that I now apply to many other aspects in my life.

I am always amazed that when you step back and look at the present, the past seems to be almost foreign.

Song of the day: Blankets in the Grass by Balance Problems

"I am aways doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.” - Picasso

I used to love arts and crafts. Whenever I went on a trip in my early childhood I would bring along a stack of multi-colored construction paper and “snip snip”. This simple pastime included taking a pair of child safe scissors and just simply cutting construction paper into multi colored little fragments. This then culminated with me satisfied in the intent of being an artist, my hand hurting from the constant snipping of the scissors and mess of little pieces of multi-colored paper. It was my little magic dust, able to change something ordinary to something great.

I used to love movies. My utter fascination in movies also mainly took place during my early child which I believe is a psychological stage for most children. There is something with the effect of creating an idea that first, moments can be documented and later viewed at your leisure. Second it instills the concept of a world outside of where you currently are, I often find that children understandably are lacking the idea that there is something much greater then them, all around them. Third and finally, I believe that movies have the capabilities of creating hope and inspiration in children through the magic of a enrapturing story. My mom’s friend Carol recently told me that I was completely an utterly mesmerized by Judy Garland’s great call to fame in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer’s “The Wizard of Oz”. I liked it so much that I went through two VHS at that age. It makes me proud to say that through growing up in the mid 1990’s, I was not completely cheated out of enjoying media in a way that made it more heartfelt and an art, then just another social media outlet. I believe that the qualities many movies possessed pre-twenty first generation are still a lasting impact on my early childhood and now overall being.

I used to love soccer. My time spent living up in the cities was a great time for personal exploration due to my unbinding location with no family really near by and adventurous being due to age. I believe that really regardless of what type of person a kid will end up becoming and doing in the world later in life, if you ask them what is there favorite part of school; they will respond recess, besides lunch. This I believe, is in fact due to every kids innate curiosity in the world and want to answer all the questions that comes to there minds. Recess is basic set time for them to be able to be whoever they want; pirate, fish, firefighter, regardless it does not matter because it is about them being able to have fun, interact with other kids, and figure out their own base of morals and code of interaction. Playing soccer seriously and being the main attribute of my life currently is something very far from who I am and that it is because somewhere along the way I forgot and lost my want to adventure the playground, dominate the field, score all those goals and become who I currently am.

I used to love reading. During my elementary level of schooling I whizzed right through math, art, music, gym, but when it came to reading it had seemed that I had hit a roadblock that was somewhat unreachable for a second grader in Eagan, MN. As much as I tried a sentence saying “Peter walked his orange cat”, was literally something foreign to me. As much as tried my mind was unable to wrap itself around that simple sentence and our language as a whole. This was frustrating to a kid in a class of people he once viewed as equals, but now felt inferior. I then began attending a special session to help me better grasp reading, every week. There we would play games, that would have us utilize our cognitive knowledge and apply them to actions, then to words and then branch off to more complex terms or ideas from there. Needless to say after much work, I finally was able to read. Let me tell you, I loved it. I believe that the minute a child is able to read, they suddenly are tapping into there innate want to learn and really become students in there education system. After that point reading was always a big part of my life for really as long as I can remember. From my mom reading books to fall asleep, to me really thinking that Junie B. Jones may some day transfer to my school or something, and becoming obsessed with Harry Potter and the baggage that comes with liking the series. It is only till a few years ago that reading really fell from my to do list. Reading and books in general ignite the brains depictive state and create imagery that I now apply to many other aspects in my life.

I am always amazed that when you step back and look at the present, the past seems to be almost foreign.

Cats in Dilemmas.

A cat would not be in such a big conflict if he was stuck in a tree; but if a cat was stuck in a dead tree alight with mother nature's flame the conflict would intesify his dilemma.

If You Could Only See the Frog.

Found out the other day, a video was posted of St. Marys Concert Band (which I am in) performing a commission by Paul Richards of his new work "If You Could Only See the Frog". This piece was premiered in our November 14th in our fall concert which also included Washington Grays a concert march by Grafulla, some Grainger, Grundman and was closed with the massive Four Scottish Dances by Malcolm Arnold. The SMU Wind Ensemble also performed after intermission, which I am also in. The concert was a true joy to play in and being able to take part in the premiere of new literature in the band world was a great opportunity. The piece has a embodied pulse due to its tricky 3/4 + 3/8 time meter that really set the drive for the entire piece. After flying in Dr. Richards and bringing him down to cozy Winona, not only did he work with the band in working on his piece of music but he visited many of the music classes on campus and entertained discussion at a "meet the composer" reception after the concert. A great piece of new literature for bands and personally I hope to at some point perform it again. “If You Could Only See the Frog” begins actually playing around 3:35 in the video if you would like to skip all the introductions and talking. Enjoy!

Consistency.

I strongly believe that consistency is a big factor is really achieving anything of great importance. The “phrase practice makes perfect” leads definitely down the right path in regard to what often happens when a consistent effort is applied in your life. I find that when something did not go the way that I would have liked or planned on, being consistent in my previous efforts may have solved the problem that I now must face. In improving my singing and euphonium playing, not only a similar or same time of practice during the day has bettered my performing but a consistent practicing regime. About two months ago I was bestowed past study literature and material from when a past teacher of mine was in High School and taking professional Euphonium lessons in the Twin Cities. After receiving a whole bag full of material I quickly skimmed through it all, passing by the warm up exercises, intonation studies, etudes and went straight for the solos which I at that point I deemed fun. I now comprehend that I would much rather play a twenty one measure technical exercise, working on core skills then a three movement solo which is lacking reinforcement by my lacking overall musicianship. Through a consistent and structured new rehearsal agenda, I am excited to hopefully see some evidence that spending seventeen minutes warming up including three two minute breaks is a good idea.

Consistency can be applied in other areas then just the arts. My school work could definitely be benefited by me hanging on to a consistent work ethic or amount of actual dedication to learning in the High School setting not arts related. See the problem with being inconsistent in schoolwork like I am, is that you teachers know that you are capable of applying yourself and doing great work and then when your laziness and inconsistent lifestyle gets in the way they just become disappointed. Now, at least in my opinion disappointment is one of the most worst things to be subjected to due to your personal actions.

To be consistent takes great dedication and commitment. I am truly unsure if I able to fully be consistent for most everything in my life. So for right now I will work on becoming more structured and consistent in the things I know I have the capability of controlling.

Song of the day: Skinny Love by Bon Iver

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

I strongly believe that consistency is a big factor is really achieving anything of great importance. The “phrase practice makes perfect” leads definitely down the right path in regard to what often happens when a consistent effort is applied in your life. I find that when something did not go the way that I would have liked or planned on, being consistent in my previous efforts may have solved the problem that I now must face. In improving my singing and euphonium playing, not only a similar or same time of practice during the day has bettered my performing but a consistent practicing regime. About two months ago I was bestowed past study literature and material from when a past teacher of mine was in High School and taking professional Euphonium lessons in the Twin Cities. After receiving a whole bag full of material I quickly skimmed through it all, passing by the warm up exercises, intonation studies, etudes and went straight for the solos which I at that point I deemed fun. I now comprehend that I would much rather play a twenty one measure technical exercise, working on core skills then a three movement solo which is lacking reinforcement by my lacking overall musicianship. Through a consistent and structured new rehearsal agenda, I am excited to hopefully see some evidence that spending seventeen minutes warming up including three two minute breaks is a good idea.

Consistency can be applied in other areas then just the arts. My school work could definitely be benefited by me hanging on to a consistent work ethic or amount of actual dedication to learning in the High School setting not arts related. See the problem with being inconsistent in schoolwork like I am, is that you teachers know that you are capable of applying yourself and doing great work and then when your laziness and inconsistent lifestyle gets in the way they just become disappointed. Now, at least in my opinion disappointment is one of the most worst things to be subjected to due to your personal actions.

To be consistent takes great dedication and commitment. I am truly unsure if I able to fully be consistent for most everything in my life. So for right now I will work on becoming more structured in the things I know I have he capability of controlling.

Stress.

This week for me has been so crazy, that it almost is ridiculous but do not worry, we are not to that point… yet. So far just in this week I…: Performed for a teacher of mine’s master class for local university students and received direction. Looked like a complete mess. Played my euphonium for a grand total of around 9 hours including symphonic band, lessons with a retired director, lessons with my current director, SMU band and then practice after school. I took photos. I also edited photos. Wrote a expository essay on my personal beliefs. Bullshited myself through a class in which I never do my homework. Memorized a song in Italian about mountains. And skipped student council, just like I did for the past two months.

Lets just say that this week is a melting pot of everything in my life. I still need to… : read some Nathaniel Hawthorne. Edit more photos. Record my audition for summer camp. Find a job. Attend our last non-dress rehearsal for jazz band. And take out the trash.

Luckily, by the end of this weekend. I will hopefully…: witnessed both single and double A’s section performances for MN state’s one act competition. Be all caught up for school. Have everything that I am held responsible, turned in for my summer music camp audition. Have the majority of my awaiting photos edited. And be satisfied.

When I am next relieved of this impending stress currently on my life, I will blog something on my mind or something fun. Stay tuned.

Song of the day: Love Vibration by Josh Rouse

"Mozart. Vivaldi. Van Gogh. Stretched their genius on struggle, stress and survival." - Bill Cannon

The Human Condition.

We all are a piece in the overall understanding of the human condition. Now you have to just go with me and forget your inhibitions for a minute which will be very tricky I know, but just trust me.

Now I am unsure of what I believe in as a higher power, I just feel like I am often coping out when relying on this "god" to be able to take all my problems and forgive my sins. Let's be honest, I do like this idea though. It is just hard for me to worship fully and forget my doubts. I find religion intresting though and enjoy attending different types of worship. I do believe that there is a bond holding this world and all its millions of little people in place though. Now whether this is God, Jehovah, Budah, aliens or Bill two houses over to the left is currentley under dispute and will probably be long after I have passed on, but that is okay in mine book. We need magic in our lives, to keep believeing that miracles happen everyday.

The human condition is what we are currentley living. It is our actions, our thoughts, the process that we go through to get from one idea from another, our morals, choices, and beliefs that define and contribute to the human condition. Whenever you begin to question what is uasually unanswered you have just breached the beginning of a life of trying to fully understand the human condition.

I believe that every action that I exhibit may or may not be closely watched. People often jump on the band wagon if they are unsure of what they actually feel about an idea or thing. Sometimes I think that my life would be pointless out context with the rest of the world. Because then nothing would seem measurable or tangible to the brain. We as humans are our own lab rats in life. We as humans all hide things that we in some wish we could tell people. We all have weird habits. Our mind is the place that needs the most personal discovery. The minute you forget what you should actually be doing, you actually start living. Time puts boundaries on life. We are possible of creating a world in which we are proud of and it begins with instilling in youth that they are capable of great and beautiful things. I am here on this planet to contribute to what has already been started by the people before me.

Now as much as I would like to give you my views on the human condition, I would be unable to because I am no where near fully understanding its true nature. If I stumble upon anything revolutionary I will be sure to tell you. From hear on, I challenge... no not challenge, I hope that sometime near future begin asking why things are the way they are and begin exploring the depths of the human condition. It is best spent drinking warm sprite, drug of choice, jazz music from pandora, bed side lighting and a comfy bed to ponder over.

”I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.” - Picasso