Indefinite Music.

Did I tell you, I am kind of learning how to play the trombone? Well currently I am just transposing the part so it is in the concert key I am used to, then playing in on a valved trombone which is much more similar to my euphonium then an actual trombone with a slide. It is an interesting experience, to say the least. At first when originally auditioning for jazz band on piano and then being asked to maybe to settle for third trombone, I was not only upset that I got beat out for piano yet again but also confused of where my integrity lies. I knew that the jazz band needed a trombone player, but was I willing to give in and accept defeat, when I could spend my time otherwise doing something that would help benefit me in other ways. I decided that first of all this would be a good opportunity to getting better in reading in different concert keys, second I eventually will hopefully be able to say that I am capable of playing jazz trombone and lastly I do enjoy jazz band regardless of instrument choice.

Tonight was my first jazz band concert at the HS level and the only one since the spring of my eighth grade year that I played in. It brought back memories of jazz band during middle school and overall a great night of music making. Sometimes I forget that there are some people I got to school with that are actually really cool, talented and mainly wanting to create just like me.

I think I like jazz, because it not definite. One big problem I had with all my experiences with classical music is that there is many more wrong ways to play something, then ways that you played it right. I was always getting uptight about notes when working on a Chopin Prelude or memorizing my melodic and harmonic scales; music speaks best to me when there are no wrong notes due to the fact that it is open for interpretation.

We must be open to change, it has the capabilities of inspiring great things. Change is indefinite music.

Almost, Foeign To Me.

I used to love arts and crafts. Whenever I went on a trip in my early childhood I would bring along a stack of multi-colored construction paper and “snip snip”. This simple pastime included taking a pair of child safe scissors and just simply cutting construction paper into multi colored little fragments. This then culminated with me satisfied in the intent of being an artist, my hand hurting from the constant snipping of the scissors and mess of little pieces of multi-colored paper. It was my little magic dust, able to change something ordinary to something great.

I used to love movies. My utter fascination in movies also mainly took place during my early child which I believe is a psychological stage for most children. There is something with the effect of creating an idea that first, moments can be documented and later viewed at your leisure. Second it instills the concept of a world outside of where you currently are, I often find that children understandably are lacking the idea that there is something much greater then them, all around them. Third and finally, I believe that movies have the capabilities of creating hope and inspiration in children through the magic of a enrapturing story. My mom’s friend Carol recently told me that I was completely an utterly mesmerized by Judy Garland’s great call to fame in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer’s “The Wizard of Oz”. I liked it so much that I went through two VHS at that age. It makes me proud to say that through growing up in the mid 1990’s, I was not completely cheated out of enjoying media in a way that made it more heartfelt and an art, then just another social media outlet. I believe that the qualities many movies possessed pre-twenty first generation are still a lasting impact on my early childhood and now overall being.

I used to love soccer. My time spent living up in the cities was a great time for personal exploration due to my unbinding location with no family really near by and adventurous being due to age. I believe that really regardless of what type of person a kid will end up becoming and doing in the world later in life, if you ask them what is there favorite part of school; they will respond recess, besides lunch. This I believe, is in fact due to every kids innate curiosity in the world and want to answer all the questions that comes to there minds. Recess is basic set time for them to be able to be whoever they want; pirate, fish, firefighter, regardless it does not matter because it is about them being able to have fun, interact with other kids, and figure out their own base of morals and code of interaction. Playing soccer seriously and being the main attribute of my life currently is something very far from who I am and that it is because somewhere along the way I forgot and lost my want to adventure the playground, dominate the field, score all those goals and become who I currently am.

I used to love reading. During my elementary level of schooling I whizzed right through math, art, music, gym, but when it came to reading it had seemed that I had hit a roadblock that was somewhat unreachable for a second grader in Eagan, MN. As much as I tried a sentence saying “Peter walked his orange cat”, was literally something foreign to me. As much as tried my mind was unable to wrap itself around that simple sentence and our language as a whole. This was frustrating to a kid in a class of people he once viewed as equals, but now felt inferior. I then began attending a special session to help me better grasp reading, every week. There we would play games, that would have us utilize our cognitive knowledge and apply them to actions, then to words and then branch off to more complex terms or ideas from there. Needless to say after much work, I finally was able to read. Let me tell you, I loved it. I believe that the minute a child is able to read, they suddenly are tapping into there innate want to learn and really become students in there education system. After that point reading was always a big part of my life for really as long as I can remember. From my mom reading books to fall asleep, to me really thinking that Junie B. Jones may some day transfer to my school or something, and becoming obsessed with Harry Potter and the baggage that comes with liking the series. It is only till a few years ago that reading really fell from my to do list. Reading and books in general ignite the brains depictive state and create imagery that I now apply to many other aspects in my life.

I am always amazed that when you step back and look at the present, the past seems to be almost foreign.

Song of the day: Blankets in the Grass by Balance Problems

"I am aways doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.” - Picasso

I used to love arts and crafts. Whenever I went on a trip in my early childhood I would bring along a stack of multi-colored construction paper and “snip snip”. This simple pastime included taking a pair of child safe scissors and just simply cutting construction paper into multi colored little fragments. This then culminated with me satisfied in the intent of being an artist, my hand hurting from the constant snipping of the scissors and mess of little pieces of multi-colored paper. It was my little magic dust, able to change something ordinary to something great.

I used to love movies. My utter fascination in movies also mainly took place during my early child which I believe is a psychological stage for most children. There is something with the effect of creating an idea that first, moments can be documented and later viewed at your leisure. Second it instills the concept of a world outside of where you currently are, I often find that children understandably are lacking the idea that there is something much greater then them, all around them. Third and finally, I believe that movies have the capabilities of creating hope and inspiration in children through the magic of a enrapturing story. My mom’s friend Carol recently told me that I was completely an utterly mesmerized by Judy Garland’s great call to fame in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer’s “The Wizard of Oz”. I liked it so much that I went through two VHS at that age. It makes me proud to say that through growing up in the mid 1990’s, I was not completely cheated out of enjoying media in a way that made it more heartfelt and an art, then just another social media outlet. I believe that the qualities many movies possessed pre-twenty first generation are still a lasting impact on my early childhood and now overall being.

I used to love soccer. My time spent living up in the cities was a great time for personal exploration due to my unbinding location with no family really near by and adventurous being due to age. I believe that really regardless of what type of person a kid will end up becoming and doing in the world later in life, if you ask them what is there favorite part of school; they will respond recess, besides lunch. This I believe, is in fact due to every kids innate curiosity in the world and want to answer all the questions that comes to there minds. Recess is basic set time for them to be able to be whoever they want; pirate, fish, firefighter, regardless it does not matter because it is about them being able to have fun, interact with other kids, and figure out their own base of morals and code of interaction. Playing soccer seriously and being the main attribute of my life currently is something very far from who I am and that it is because somewhere along the way I forgot and lost my want to adventure the playground, dominate the field, score all those goals and become who I currently am.

I used to love reading. During my elementary level of schooling I whizzed right through math, art, music, gym, but when it came to reading it had seemed that I had hit a roadblock that was somewhat unreachable for a second grader in Eagan, MN. As much as I tried a sentence saying “Peter walked his orange cat”, was literally something foreign to me. As much as tried my mind was unable to wrap itself around that simple sentence and our language as a whole. This was frustrating to a kid in a class of people he once viewed as equals, but now felt inferior. I then began attending a special session to help me better grasp reading, every week. There we would play games, that would have us utilize our cognitive knowledge and apply them to actions, then to words and then branch off to more complex terms or ideas from there. Needless to say after much work, I finally was able to read. Let me tell you, I loved it. I believe that the minute a child is able to read, they suddenly are tapping into there innate want to learn and really become students in there education system. After that point reading was always a big part of my life for really as long as I can remember. From my mom reading books to fall asleep, to me really thinking that Junie B. Jones may some day transfer to my school or something, and becoming obsessed with Harry Potter and the baggage that comes with liking the series. It is only till a few years ago that reading really fell from my to do list. Reading and books in general ignite the brains depictive state and create imagery that I now apply to many other aspects in my life.

I am always amazed that when you step back and look at the present, the past seems to be almost foreign.

Cats in Dilemmas.

A cat would not be in such a big conflict if he was stuck in a tree; but if a cat was stuck in a dead tree alight with mother nature's flame the conflict would intesify his dilemma.

If You Could Only See the Frog.

Found out the other day, a video was posted of St. Marys Concert Band (which I am in) performing a commission by Paul Richards of his new work "If You Could Only See the Frog". This piece was premiered in our November 14th in our fall concert which also included Washington Grays a concert march by Grafulla, some Grainger, Grundman and was closed with the massive Four Scottish Dances by Malcolm Arnold. The SMU Wind Ensemble also performed after intermission, which I am also in. The concert was a true joy to play in and being able to take part in the premiere of new literature in the band world was a great opportunity. The piece has a embodied pulse due to its tricky 3/4 + 3/8 time meter that really set the drive for the entire piece. After flying in Dr. Richards and bringing him down to cozy Winona, not only did he work with the band in working on his piece of music but he visited many of the music classes on campus and entertained discussion at a "meet the composer" reception after the concert. A great piece of new literature for bands and personally I hope to at some point perform it again. “If You Could Only See the Frog” begins actually playing around 3:35 in the video if you would like to skip all the introductions and talking. Enjoy!

Consistency.

I strongly believe that consistency is a big factor is really achieving anything of great importance. The “phrase practice makes perfect” leads definitely down the right path in regard to what often happens when a consistent effort is applied in your life. I find that when something did not go the way that I would have liked or planned on, being consistent in my previous efforts may have solved the problem that I now must face. In improving my singing and euphonium playing, not only a similar or same time of practice during the day has bettered my performing but a consistent practicing regime. About two months ago I was bestowed past study literature and material from when a past teacher of mine was in High School and taking professional Euphonium lessons in the Twin Cities. After receiving a whole bag full of material I quickly skimmed through it all, passing by the warm up exercises, intonation studies, etudes and went straight for the solos which I at that point I deemed fun. I now comprehend that I would much rather play a twenty one measure technical exercise, working on core skills then a three movement solo which is lacking reinforcement by my lacking overall musicianship. Through a consistent and structured new rehearsal agenda, I am excited to hopefully see some evidence that spending seventeen minutes warming up including three two minute breaks is a good idea.

Consistency can be applied in other areas then just the arts. My school work could definitely be benefited by me hanging on to a consistent work ethic or amount of actual dedication to learning in the High School setting not arts related. See the problem with being inconsistent in schoolwork like I am, is that you teachers know that you are capable of applying yourself and doing great work and then when your laziness and inconsistent lifestyle gets in the way they just become disappointed. Now, at least in my opinion disappointment is one of the most worst things to be subjected to due to your personal actions.

To be consistent takes great dedication and commitment. I am truly unsure if I able to fully be consistent for most everything in my life. So for right now I will work on becoming more structured and consistent in the things I know I have the capability of controlling.

Song of the day: Skinny Love by Bon Iver

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

I strongly believe that consistency is a big factor is really achieving anything of great importance. The “phrase practice makes perfect” leads definitely down the right path in regard to what often happens when a consistent effort is applied in your life. I find that when something did not go the way that I would have liked or planned on, being consistent in my previous efforts may have solved the problem that I now must face. In improving my singing and euphonium playing, not only a similar or same time of practice during the day has bettered my performing but a consistent practicing regime. About two months ago I was bestowed past study literature and material from when a past teacher of mine was in High School and taking professional Euphonium lessons in the Twin Cities. After receiving a whole bag full of material I quickly skimmed through it all, passing by the warm up exercises, intonation studies, etudes and went straight for the solos which I at that point I deemed fun. I now comprehend that I would much rather play a twenty one measure technical exercise, working on core skills then a three movement solo which is lacking reinforcement by my lacking overall musicianship. Through a consistent and structured new rehearsal agenda, I am excited to hopefully see some evidence that spending seventeen minutes warming up including three two minute breaks is a good idea.

Consistency can be applied in other areas then just the arts. My school work could definitely be benefited by me hanging on to a consistent work ethic or amount of actual dedication to learning in the High School setting not arts related. See the problem with being inconsistent in schoolwork like I am, is that you teachers know that you are capable of applying yourself and doing great work and then when your laziness and inconsistent lifestyle gets in the way they just become disappointed. Now, at least in my opinion disappointment is one of the most worst things to be subjected to due to your personal actions.

To be consistent takes great dedication and commitment. I am truly unsure if I able to fully be consistent for most everything in my life. So for right now I will work on becoming more structured in the things I know I have he capability of controlling.

Stress.

This week for me has been so crazy, that it almost is ridiculous but do not worry, we are not to that point… yet. So far just in this week I…: Performed for a teacher of mine’s master class for local university students and received direction. Looked like a complete mess. Played my euphonium for a grand total of around 9 hours including symphonic band, lessons with a retired director, lessons with my current director, SMU band and then practice after school. I took photos. I also edited photos. Wrote a expository essay on my personal beliefs. Bullshited myself through a class in which I never do my homework. Memorized a song in Italian about mountains. And skipped student council, just like I did for the past two months.

Lets just say that this week is a melting pot of everything in my life. I still need to… : read some Nathaniel Hawthorne. Edit more photos. Record my audition for summer camp. Find a job. Attend our last non-dress rehearsal for jazz band. And take out the trash.

Luckily, by the end of this weekend. I will hopefully…: witnessed both single and double A’s section performances for MN state’s one act competition. Be all caught up for school. Have everything that I am held responsible, turned in for my summer music camp audition. Have the majority of my awaiting photos edited. And be satisfied.

When I am next relieved of this impending stress currently on my life, I will blog something on my mind or something fun. Stay tuned.

Song of the day: Love Vibration by Josh Rouse

"Mozart. Vivaldi. Van Gogh. Stretched their genius on struggle, stress and survival." - Bill Cannon

The Human Condition.

We all are a piece in the overall understanding of the human condition. Now you have to just go with me and forget your inhibitions for a minute which will be very tricky I know, but just trust me.

Now I am unsure of what I believe in as a higher power, I just feel like I am often coping out when relying on this "god" to be able to take all my problems and forgive my sins. Let's be honest, I do like this idea though. It is just hard for me to worship fully and forget my doubts. I find religion intresting though and enjoy attending different types of worship. I do believe that there is a bond holding this world and all its millions of little people in place though. Now whether this is God, Jehovah, Budah, aliens or Bill two houses over to the left is currentley under dispute and will probably be long after I have passed on, but that is okay in mine book. We need magic in our lives, to keep believeing that miracles happen everyday.

The human condition is what we are currentley living. It is our actions, our thoughts, the process that we go through to get from one idea from another, our morals, choices, and beliefs that define and contribute to the human condition. Whenever you begin to question what is uasually unanswered you have just breached the beginning of a life of trying to fully understand the human condition.

I believe that every action that I exhibit may or may not be closely watched. People often jump on the band wagon if they are unsure of what they actually feel about an idea or thing. Sometimes I think that my life would be pointless out context with the rest of the world. Because then nothing would seem measurable or tangible to the brain. We as humans are our own lab rats in life. We as humans all hide things that we in some wish we could tell people. We all have weird habits. Our mind is the place that needs the most personal discovery. The minute you forget what you should actually be doing, you actually start living. Time puts boundaries on life. We are possible of creating a world in which we are proud of and it begins with instilling in youth that they are capable of great and beautiful things. I am here on this planet to contribute to what has already been started by the people before me.

Now as much as I would like to give you my views on the human condition, I would be unable to because I am no where near fully understanding its true nature. If I stumble upon anything revolutionary I will be sure to tell you. From hear on, I challenge... no not challenge, I hope that sometime near future begin asking why things are the way they are and begin exploring the depths of the human condition. It is best spent drinking warm sprite, drug of choice, jazz music from pandora, bed side lighting and a comfy bed to ponder over.

”I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.” - Picasso

Human Chameleon.

Today I have no access to water, and I mean no form of the liquid we all depend on. I woke up to find that in trying to make something better we accidentally sprung a leak and had to soon after shut off our water supply. I now understand how much water plays a part in our lives. Today I am unable to flush the toilets, do my dirty laundry, take a shower, or even get a glass of water to drink without making a complete and utter mess in my basement. Today I have no access to water. Tomorrow, who knows I may have no electricity or food or some other staple of my life. We as humans have the capability to be adaptable. Today I will adapt to my surroundings, I am a human chameleon.

When I wake up late, my whole day becomes offset and in turn affects everything around me. At 3:30 in the afternoon, I ate cheerios in turn ruining my appetite for dinner. When most people would venture to sleeping sometime around midnight I was not able to force myself to sleep until around 5:45 in the morning. These almost twilight zone like hours when the whole world seems asleep but myself, was spent poring over my newly purchased copy of “Naked” by David Sedaris and a copy of Luther College’s band tour cd from 2009. If you wanted to know FB is not remotely as satisfying at this time in the morning due to the fact that the only people posting statuses and online are people that have no more want to talk anyone than you do.

I was happily surprised in watching Easy A. The movie actually was semi-witty and a fun romp in the land of the current superficial, teen movie genre. Ending was lame and horribly unsatisfying. There was quite a few handfuls of unrealistic HS scenarios that like every other teen movie created, are supposed to represent the life I am currently living. Too bad no one really cares to that extent in HS if you slept with a guy. So has half of your grade. Overall a fun, non think type of movie for a movie night.

During the spring and summer my mode of transportation is me walking from place to place or biking. With the harsh MN winter I always resort to getting rides places. This in turn is making me one fat lazy pile. I am looking forward to the minute when I am able to comfortably walk to my routed destination and enjoy some fresh air. A good walk clears my head, gets me to where I am going and burns off my late lunch of cheerios.

Song of the day - Unless It's Kicks by Okkervil River

"Art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self." - JeanLuc Godard

Personal Happiness.

With only a few exceptions, every morning before I go to school I first indulge myself in a Kwiktrip breakfast sandwich and coffee. Every morning I look forward to a cup of overpriced coffee and a pre-made english muffin sandwich and to tell you the truth I often feel that without that my day may just fall apart. I am fully aware that a bill of $3.09 five days a week may be a bad influence to my budget but it is one of the sacrifices I am willing to make for my personal happiness.

Yesterday was a very interesting and peculiar day, to say the least. We had a two hour late start which I never really know how to feel about. See even though my school day is two hours shorter then usual it always ends up feeling like the day drags on more then a regular school day. I turned in my paperwork to audition for MN all state wind ensemble and then was notified that I was selected to perform in Luther College's Dorian Band Festival with their top symphonic band, which shall be a really fun artsy weekend in the end of February. I solidified plans with my accompanist to record my audition tape next week for my summer camp audition which really sneaked up on me time wise. After school I attended Jazz band and nailed down some loose ends for our concert in just over a week, only to find out from my director that the spring concert will probably be unable to be changed so I will have to miss competing in sections for speech team. With me now unable to attend the culmination meet of the entire season I am unsure if it is really worth me just competing in the preliminary meets, when I could spend my time working on other arts stuff. So I guess speech team is now up in the air.

I woke up at three a'clock today and am still wondering why I slept that long. But I did get some stuff done off of my to-do list including a new blog playlist and look. Just a small change, like it?

Song of the day - Joburg Jam by Pogo

"If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk" - Oscar Wilde

What Does Art Mean To You?

Recycled Air.

I am nostalgic. I feel what I feel, because sometimes there is nothing else going on in my head.

Today was quite full of things, but looking back I really did not improve on anything or accomplish anything that needed to be completed, it was merely a day of me just going through "the motions". During the course of my time spent in school just, today there was multiple moments when I could clearly feel myself overstepping my social boundaries that are set and expected for me as a student. This often happens when a teacher will be trying to have some fun and be off topic, you then say something and unknowingly you may or may not have just passed the socially acceptable line for fun in a classroom setting.

Tomorrow on my to-do list, I need to call Costumes International. They posted in the local Post that they are looking for a part time employee with history in theatre. If this job does not scream my name, that I really and doomed when the day comes that I actually am out in the real world on my own two feet. What could be unsatisfying about consulting people about what wig they should wear for their Pride and Prejudice themed party? Nothing, truly nothing could be unsatisfying about that.

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." - Thomas Merton

In a Relationship.

Bowling is fun for only so long, but so is basically everything else in the world after so long.

I think love is something often strewn off its original intended intent. Now, do not get me wrong I think relationships are beautiful and definitely a key component in truly living but I think that people need to think about the value of love.

I recently became “in a relationship” on Facebook. Last time I checked 43 of my FB friends ‘liked’ this change in my social networking life, even though they are completely unaware that I not in a relationship at all or even near one. Unaware of the actual falsity in this recent post people came up to me during my school day today and asked me, who? When? And a mixture of other assortments and I just told them “you, will have to wait and see.” For some sad, probably sick reason this amuses me greatly. I have no idea how I am going to really end and close up and end this whole fun little game that I have going with me and the oh how mighty matchmaker, but I think I may keep it going for a little bit longer. Tomorrow maybe I should start sharing an elaborate story of how we met at an Amish How to Build Wooden Lawn Chairs Seminar in the Cities or at the Midwest Kazoo Enthusiast Convention.

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." - Scott Adams

Onions Make Me Cry.

The minute I think my life could not get any worse, it suddenly gets a lot better. Currently, I am okay with that.

"To be free, is to have achieved your life." - Tennessee Williams

Profile.

Everyday I really do find something new about the world, people and myself. I will stumble upon little facts that had never really shown themselves to me in the past. For instance today I went out for an after lunch/before dinner snack date with a friend of mine that I really haven not seen in way too long and I ordered chili! You may not know this about me, but I used to be repulsed by just the idea or smell of chili, with all of its big beans, and overall chunky taste and look. But yesterday when also out to eat I tried some of my friend’s chili and actually enjoyed it! So just to clear the air, I think I may slightly enjoy chili with lots of cheese and excessive sour cream.

Today I still need to dye my hair, do some homework, study for a test in first hour and if possible get warmer.

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." - Oscar Wilde

Pancakes and Sausages With Juice.

I find myself often thinking that what I am living is not deep enough or real enough to actual life. With a beginning of a new year right under my feet I now partially understand that I am living something real and good, I need to appreciate that.

Looking towards this next year 2011, I guess you could say I am apprehensive in regard to what I need to do to become the person that I want to be. I many past situations I will cop out of a good learning opportunity for myself because I am basically just lazy, but then later that day I will think about how I am not progressing as a person which a constant want for myself. In a nutshell my new years resolution is to become more accountable for my actions, and to gradually work towards being the person that I want to become.

After a week and a half long break I am very excited and nervous to resume my time spent in the halls of my high school. I am excited to begin where I left off in creating. With college auditions, a honor band or two coming up, big steps towards taking my possible future career head on and other things it will be invigorating to try to create a lasting impression and mainly art. A sense of nervousness could also be detected somewhere in the act of resuming school, mainly because school doesn't care what life is handing you and will not wait for you. I guess it is just scary to understand that in many cases people won't care if you don't turn in a paper or an assignment. When I walk into school on Monday, bags filled with my folders and loads of homework, coffee in hand I hope to have an ambiance of integrity to myself to excel in what I am involved in. I think I can do that.

My holiday break has been wonderful, a little self indulged, slightly frightening but mainly motivating. Here we come 2011, I am ready to live.

Song of the day - Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra

"Do things with passion, or not at all. Wherever you go, go with all your heart." - Anonymous